For me (and most likely for others of you out there) it's not an easy ask to accurately summarize how others see you.
When given the opportunity to pick other people's untainted and unacquainted brains I do: it happens rarely, but is interesting, if still revealing nothing more than general stereotypes and pre-judgements.
For example:
I work in a museum, in the gallery space itself. Dimly lit. Desk tucked into a corner.
After a short conversation, one visitor commented that I must be a quiet person.
Another that I must be very self-disciplined to regulate my own research and work schedule.
Yet another that I don't seem to be the "marrying type".1
Hm.
In another awakening of self-image: a group of friends decided we should all make mixed cds and swap, so that we could introduce each other to new and interesting music. Some in the group were a bit surprised to see this band, video below, on there.
I didn't know I didn't give off a Cock Sparrer vibe!
Maybe it's the glasses and the museum job. And maybe the knitting.
Cock Sparrer "Teenage Heart"
1 I do believe this deserves a hearty wtf?! When asked to elaborate, this visitor could not. So, my brutish insecurity kicked in, and began yelling at me that he must mean "you're too ugly to be marrying someone! Who'd want to marry you!" :p
2 comments:
It's funny how people have such strange perceptions of us. I have two anecdotes that both happened in the span of a week. A friend recently told me that when we first met, she thought I was talking myself up because I was obviously "too girly to be an astrophysicist." She didn't believe me until much later. And our department secretary told my office mate, upon learning I have accepted a position as a professor, "A professor? But she's so small! And with such big black eyes!" (Note: I am average height but very slender and have hazel eyes that are not all that dark). My reactions to these incidentals are that people expect women scientists to be ugly and mannish, and our department secretary pictures me as an anime character when she thinks of me. So much for being taken seriously... :)
I understand that we all hold certain prejudices and judge books by covers too often. But if I find myself having preconceived notions about someone, I usually assume I'm wrong. And, when corrected, I certainly don't tell them how surprised I am. It's bad enough that that guy *thought* it, but the fact that he told you he didn't think you were the "marrying type" incites a big ol' "WTF?!" from me!
So yesterday, I was at a baseball game, for which I had taken a day off of work, fully dressed in my team's colors and various paraphernalia. Now, I read and know quite a lot about my favorite team and am always excited to talk to people about them. So when I heard two guys in front of me talking about a recent issue, I chimed in. They were actually quite cool and didn't look at me like I was from Mars (like I sometimes get). After a little while, the conversation turned to the 2002 World Series. I expressed a strong opinion about a particular coaching move in a particular game, and the two guys, with shocked looks on their faces said, "So you really ARE a fan!" Um, DUH! Why wouldn't I be? Because I'm a girl? Girls can't like baseball? Granted, they were extremely drunk (at 1pm on a Wednesday) and their filters were quite obviously off, so I can't be too offended. :)
Post a Comment